More About Dane

I had enough of fun with those wacky photoshop filters. Speaking of filters, as a second hand smoker, I was hooked on Kools. My father was a cargo claims inspector and my mother was a banana. My childhood was like a mixed tape you'd find in your sister's glove compartment; on one side, Cream's Wheels of Fire. On the other, The Sea by Rod McKuen. I wasn't always conflicted. When I was seven I wanted to be Shirley Temple. Then there was the time I almost drown in a surf competition. And who can forget the time I got caught smoking? (Jan and Marcia told on me). My singing career performing under the name Johnny Bravo was short-lived. I performed hits like, "Go, you Chicken Fat, Go Away" during Las Vegas Night at the Jewish Center in Little Neck. But when the place was raided by the font police for an unlicensed use of Hebrew Script, I had to take a series of odd jobs to make ends meet. I was a wholesale distributor of brisket, a porcupine whisperer, and I worked full time as a trolley dolly in a United Airlines flight simulator. For a while I had a job distributing Marzipan to school lunches at P.S. 78. Now I moonlight as a bouncer at PTA meetings and bachelorette parties in the Puyallup Washington school district. I'm like "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski, if the dude liked men and wore pant suits like Hillary Clinton. So, now I blog for recreation. I bowl. Drive Around. The Occasional Acid Flashback.