1) You go all-out to find someone a meaningful present and they show no appreciation for it whatsoever. Like when I was Rat Girl's Secret Santa and I gave her a Pencil Maze Activity Book and a Wheel of Queso Chihuahua. (I should have kept the cheese for myself... damn whisker-faced ingrate!)
2) People who can't tell the difference between the post-office and a donut shop. While stamps are truly delicious with sprinkles and pink icing, do you really need to see the Gerald R. Ford one again? There's only a line 20 people deep on their lunch hour. Why don't you spend the next half of an hour deliberating over the merits of the duck decoy stamp, you jelly-filled loser!
3) I hate how they don't let you bring Mace to concerts with you anymore. How are you supposed to get Mr. Ward-of-the-State in front of you to stop trying to date-rape his 16 year old girlfriend now that she passed out headfirst into a plate of nachos.
4) Waitresses who don't know the difference between Orange Juice and Orange shoes. The last time I ordered a glass of orange juice the waitress came back with a pair of Converse.
5) Being smothered in Syrup. Say, let's watch Little Women together, shall we?
6) Interview questions I've heard a zillion times before. Question: "If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be? Answer: A dead one... Do I start Monday?
7) The fact that there's a 1-800 number should you need help preparing your Butterball.
8) People who find in necessary to re-fight the civil war. Why?... Why don't they use live ammunition?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment